Confession: I almost didn’t do it!

Just the other day, I had a desire to just get up and go to the local park. I was frustrated and couldn’t gather my thoughts at home, so I decided I’d change my scenery and pray. What’s funny, however, is that I never considered that the Holy Spirit was leading me there.

When I arrived, I slipped on some comfortable shoes and headed to a random park bench. The journey there, I repented for my frustrations, and inquired with God on how I could best help in the current situation. I talked the whole way there, and the entire journey from the car to the “random” park bench. As I sat, I felt a cool breeze, closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and quieted my mind. I was tired of talking, because I was running out of ways to express myself and complain.

After sitting for a while, I began to notice that I’d picked a spot seated directly in the sun. Those who know me are aware of just how much I dislike the heat. The sun’s rays were beaming down on me, and the little tree before me, only provided a small amount of shade. Though it offered some shade, the little tree’s reach, was not far enough to reach me!

Quick pause: Ever wonder why it seems almost impossible to get through to some people? Well stop and consider, they might be to far for your reach to grasp! Let that sink in.

There will be people in your life that you can’t reach! Not because God is too small, but because your reach hasn’t been fully extended to go the distance. In these cases, PRAY, and allow God to close the gap between you. Or, if He decided not to widen it, for whatever reason, remember He is GOD. He has His purposes!

Okay, back on track. I tried to tough it out, but I couldn’t. I gathered my little belongings, and began to move to the seat, in the shade. But before I could take too many steps, I felt the Holy Spirit correcting and instructing me to stay put. I stopped, turned around, and returned to my original seat. The intensity in heat didn’t change, and I became uncomfortable. I even began to question whether, the Holy Spirit really told me not to move, because it was HOOOTTT!! I closed my eyes, and asked God to send a cool breeze. When I opened my eyes, there was a steady breeze blowing.

As I looked around the park, I saw two women standing a way off talking. I could hear their voices, but I couldn’t understand what they were discussing. After I looked away, the Holy Spirit told me to get up and walk. It was my intention to go the opposite direction, but He directed me to walk towards those women. I remember thinking they’d saw me, in the distance, and would think I was being nosy if I walked over. Yet, I still went.

What’s sad is that, once my feet touched the pavement, I’d already formulated that the Holy Spirit was leading me towards them to “speak” to them. He didn’t say anything. I slowly walked and eventually made it to where they were. The three of us made eye contact and greeted each other with hand gestures and warm smiles. It wasn’t until after, I passed them that the Holy Spirit began to speak to me! He showed me, the pride that was lingering inside of me. Though my intentions were to be obedient, the overall objective was aborted because of pride.

I’d formulated that God had something for me to say to them, and that’s why the Holy Spirit was leading me over there. I never considered that just maybe, God was teaching me a lesson. I never considered that maybe, one or both of them would “speak” to me. Because the Holy Spirit told me to go, I assumed an outcome, grieved Him, and missed the mark. Quite honestly, I was embarrassed and began to repent. Suddenly I began to hear the wind, but it wasn’t just the normal sound of passing wind. It began to sound like rolling winds. I looked around to see if anyone else could hear it or reacted to the sounds, but no one did. Then, this passage came to mind:

God’s Revelation to Elijah

¹¹ Then He said, “Go out, and stand on the mountain before the Lord.” And behold, the Lord passed by, and a great and strong wind tore into the mountains and broke the rocks in pieces before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind; and after the wind an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake; ¹² and after the earthquake a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire; and after the fire ^[e]a still small voice. 1 Kings 19:11-13 KJV

I believed something to be one way without relying on the Holy Spirit to reveal it to me; thus, I was unable to discern or know what God desired for that moment. Twice I heard the winds, as if they were rolling. I continued to walk around the track, and I prayed that God would humble me before Him. I prayed against pride and false humility. Then I thanked Him, for correcting me, even though it hurt. At one point, I closed my eyes, inhaled the fresh air, and prayed in the Spirit. And when I reopened my eyes, I saw something that just didn’t seem to fit. It was a coconut and an eggplant side by side underneath a scrawny tree.

The sight captivated me so, because I couldn’t understand for the life of me, why someone would just leave two random items there. I stood there for a moment, observing, and gradually moved on. As the journey continued, I began to see these tree stumps. They were aligned around the park as a barrier. I knew they were put there by the landscaper, but I was intrigued. There was the tiniest branch protruding from the stump. There was life, in a place I didn’t expect it to be. As I surveyed the other stumps, every seventh or eighth stump had a tiny branch growing out of it. I was baffled. The stumps had no roots. They were planted there for decoration purposes, so how could life emerge from something that was thought to be dead? Reluctantly I moved on, still pondering what I’d just saw.

By the time I made it to the start of the trail, I decided to sit on the bench. The breeze was nice and cool; and the way the trees swayed was a sight to marvel at. As I sat, I swayed with to the rhythm of the trees; looking up, I prayed. Peace is what I felt. Soaking in the serenity, I realized it was time to finish my lap. Immediately as I stood, I heard the Holy Spirit say to me, “Sit back down, I didn’t tell you to move!”

Kind of embarrassed, I eased down to my seat. I tried to refocus and adjust my thoughts, but it was difficult. I hadn’t realized the things I was seeing or doing was the Holy Spirit leading me. I hadn’t acknowledged it as such. I assumed I was just walking. I believed the random distractions were just random things I’d saw. I definitely didn’t get it, but I obeyed. I even repented for moving too quickly. I searched my mind, for any inclination, of why God was leading in such a way. The more I thought, the more I questioned. I’d gotten lost inside the ramblings of my mind. Yet, I snapped out of it, nearly ten minutes later when the Holy Spirit said, “Now move!”

I know and understand that God is not the author of confusion, but I felt confused. I did not get what He was trying to do or teach me. I rose from my seat and began the journey again. I didn’t know what to think nor expect. Still, I journeyed on trying desperately to listen for the direction of the Holy Spirit. I didn’t want to miss Him. I didn’t want to move too soon or too slow. I wanted to do whatever He willed. I wanted to be aligned with Him.

Without recognizing, I’d made it back to the two women. They were standing in the same spot conversing. When I approached them, I dropped my head in recollection of what had previously occurred. A twinge of embarrassment came, and then I felt humbled. The closer I got, the more I noticed the older woman peering directly into my eyes. Again, we smiled and greeted each other. I moved passed them trying to get by without walking in between them. As I passed them, I heard the older woman say, “But there’s more…” simultaneously as the Holy Spirit told me, “Now go pray with them.”

I took a few more steps forward; I wasn’t sure if I would do it. Then I paused, turned, and walked back. There was so much uncertainty swarming my mind. I didn’t want to be rebuked again. I didn’t want to be wrong. Suddenly the older woman moved towards her vehicle. “It’s now or never!” I thought. “What are you going to do?” Without further hesitation, I spoke:

“As I was walking, I heard you say, “there’s more,” and I was prompted to come pray with you both. Would you mind if I prayed with you?”

Readily they agreed, we joined hands, and prepared to pray. Honestly, I didn’t know the words to say. So, I exhaled and said the whatever came to mind. Once the prayer was done, I didn’t linger. I felt quite weird actually. I bid them goodbye, and I continued walking. Eventually one of the ladies caught up with me and thanked me. She said that the things I prayed was confirmation for what the two of them had been discussing. I was totally shocked! I felt as if I was babbling in prayer. I only said what came to mind. It seemed not to make much since to me, but to God it made all the difference. Before that woman left, she was encouraged, and God led me to share some personal details and plans He had for her.

It was definitely an abnormal encounter. We parted ways, and immediately the Holy Spirit began to talk with me. He said, “You don’t know all the pieces that have to be put in place for these moments to occur. If you move to fast or too slow, you may miss it.” As I continued walking, I listened to all that the Holy Spirit had to teach me.

There were many lessons that were learned that day:

1. You never know to what end; the Lord will use you to accomplish His will. Just be willing and realize it may not look or sound like what you think it should. God is God. He understands, even when we don’t.
2. Be LED by the Holy Spirit; don’t try to lead Him. Those who worship God must worship in Spirit and Truth. The Holy Spirit will lead you into all truth.
3. Like the Holy Spirit taught me, you never know at which point, in the grand scheme of things, you fit in. Just know, that if God has brought you to it, you fit and He will bring all understanding, knowledge, and wisdom you need.

To me what appeared to be mindless babblings, turned out to be the confirmation someone else needed. Which, in the end, turned out to be an even more prophetic moment between the two of us. Yielding to the Holy Spirit is essential in being used by Him. For it is Him, that causes things to happen.

Zechariah 4:6 says, “Then he answered and spake unto me, saying, This is the word of the LORD unto Zerubbabel, saying, not by might, nor by power, but by my spirit, saith the LORD of hosts.”

Blessings and Peace, in Jesus name… Amen